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Kourtney Jason. The Toybag Guide to Clips and Clamps. Jack Rinella. Whatwill they do if I say this etc. When I meet someone Im thinking "What can I learn from you? What fun can I have relating to you? Oh shit! What do I say? Do I look OK? Will you like me? That usually includes meeting you at a somewhat more private party a birthday or awedding, but not a nightclub , being introduced to you through a mutual friend, having commoninterests hobbies, sports etc and meeting you through events organized for people practicingthese interests; school, work, hobbies, friends, and relatives being the common denominatorshere.
That is also why trying to pick up a girl in the street or on the commuter is so much harder to dothan just "meeting her casually" - it is completely different from what she has been dreaming ofand in addition to having to make her like you the way you present yourself, youll have tocompensate for not being able to have the silent recommendation of having mutual friends orhobbies plus dismiss any of her doubts of you "doing this picking up girls all the time", athought which might weigh against you even if she actually likes you and your approach.
But whether you want to make the girl like you having met her casually or doing a more directpick-up, youll be using the same techniques nevertheless. Opting for a casual meeting justsimplifies your task of getting her to like you and has a higher probability of her coming toexpect a LTR once things get serious whether you like or want that to happen is already a diffe-rent subject , whereas pick-ups are tougher to pull off successfully, but they also broaden yourchoice of girls far beyond those that you happen to meet "casually" plus each failure and succcesswill build your experience and confidence respectively far more than casual meetings could everdo.
In short, casual meetings are safe, pick-ups more rewarding, and the choice is yours, but ahealthy mixture of both is probably the best way to go: The people who seem lost will be the easiest folk to flirt with. If you want to, you canassume that everyone is socially nervous, cut them some slack if things initially seem awkwardand look for ways you can make people more comfortable. Just say "Hi"This is a really simple strategy. If youre consistent and persistent with this strategy, this couldyield you a lot of beautiful women.
Itll take a long time though, but then again, it requires almostno effort on your part: Heres what you do. You see a girl you like, but for some reason cant do an approach you donthave the time, or maybe the guts, or the situation disallows it etc , at least do this - say "Hi". Keep enough eye-contact to get a confused "Hi" in return, then continue with what you weredoing walking, working etc.
Maybe youll never see the girl again. But if you do oh joy andbehold!: Then continue with what you were doing basically, ignoring her: And so on, and so on. After the first three "His" the girl is still wondering, if or how she issupposed to know you. After the fifth "Hi" she is already wondering, how come you neveractually talk to her.
After the tenth "Hi" she cant understand, how come you never even approachher. After the twentieth "Hi" she is so confused and intrigued about you that she just cant stand itanymore and will approach YOU instead. Shell try to find out how the two of you know, andwhy you never talk to her, or why you never even approach her, but you still keep saying "Hi", isthere something wrong with her etc - be very vague and mysterious about it in your answers after all, you dont have much to tell anyway: Now however, youre talking to an absolutelygorgeous girl remember, you almost didnt even have the guts to say "Hi" to her: So the good part of this tactic is - almost zero effort on your part, just remember saying "Hi" toher: The downsides however are numerous - you might never see her again, which is especiallybad if she became interested in you when you said your first "Hi" already.
Or you might see her afew more times but not on a consistent enough basis to build up enough intrigue in her. Also, thistakes a monstrous amount of time to ripen - months, possibly even years.
Neither is it much of aconfidence- and experience-builder - youll develop a confidence of saying "Hi" to beauties notmuch is it?: But it serves it purpose as a last-ditch resortwhen you see a 10 approaching down the street, hurrying somewhere - say "Hi", get one inreturn, make her think that the two of you know each other somehow obviously she cantremember you: A modification of this tactic which seems to make some more sense - just say "Hi" to any girl Yes, any girl and anywhere - the commuter, the street, the airport, the corridor, thecafeteria.
Some wont answer maybe you greeted her too late for her to notice you , someanswer, some smile and answer see also Eye contact experiment , some answer, smile and stop! The ones that you have exchanged "Hi"-s with without ever being introduced to each other orhaving actually approached her are the best to use the "We already know each other" tactic with.
Ok, so thats still a long way from having her naked body between your sheets - but youve madea start and youre already well on your way: Talk to girls everywhereIf you look and feel great, then you wont have any trouble with this. If you see a girl, looking inthe window of a store, waiting for a bus, sitting on a train, in the next aisle of a movie, shoppingin a department store, and for any reason this girl appeals to you, strike up a conversation, starttalking to her about anything that comes to mind.
So set yourself a goal of talking to girls at the supermarket, laundromat, at aconcert, while standing in line at the movie, sitting at the bar, on the bus, standing in the street, inthe elevator, just anywhere and everywhere. Taken from "Seep women off their feet When talking towomen no longer intimidates you, something special will happen.
You will find yourself havingnon-threatening conversations with beautiful women all the time, and better yet, thoseconversations will naturally turn into seduction mode even without a conscious effort on yourpart. And once you stop thinking about seduction, you will find yourself just doing it. You willbegin to see the change in womens behavior towards you.
No, Im not an evangelist, itsjust that the more you wait, the bigger chances there are that shell leave, someone else will joinher for a conversation, you start sweating and eventually chicken out, circumstances change etc.
By the time youve reached this stage. At point 2 shes stillwary, but talking. All in acouple of minutes. To continue. If the HB is a talker, paraphrase her and ask intelligent questions. Throw in negs if you need. In order for her to feel understood, you need to listen to what shesays, rephrase it and feed it back to her it helps if you agree with whatever statement she made: Listen to what she says, remember it and you can make her feel connected to you and understoodby you even weeks after your conversation by just simply repeating what she told to you duringyour conversation: So make sure a lot of your communication to her is a subtle echo of what shefeeds you.
Now this strategy is already quite effective on its own but combine it with usingtrance-words and shes gonna levitate right in front of your eyes: However you alsocant just repeat what she said verbatim. You have to take something shes said and paraphrase itand present it as an original thought or opinion. Fluff talk is also needed, if you plan tocontinue with eliciting values - you must have had at least some sort of a casual conversationwith the girl, for then it would sound only natural for you to have become a little more interestedin her, to the point of asking all sorts of questions: What fluff talk usually ends up being is an exchange of facts - "where ya goin?
Facts are a BORE! Neither has she any use for the facts you are giving her. So grab any opportunity you have to get to feelings! Or have her describe you her feelingsherself, if she is a talker. Voila - youve switched from fluff talk to patterning in a blink of aneye: She feels enthralled.
But you dont know how to follow up on that. So let the the fluff talk conti-nue. So you like sandwitches? I just dont have time for much anything else: Still lazily laying in your bed, to have all thatdelicious food brought to you on a silver tray - you take a sip of cocoa and can feel the pleasantwarmth of it spreading thorughout your body, which after a good-nights sleep is more fresh andreceptive to the pleasentness of that feeling than usual, and you take a taste of marmalade andcan feel it melting in your mouth and the sweetness of it waking you up for yet another wondefulday etc, now make good use of all the food she HERSELF told you she likes: She can exchangefacts with a million guys and not feel a thing.
Or, she can give her facts to you and get awonderful return on it: By James L. Its agood intro, or it can be used right after an opening line. Ive used it several times to great effect, as the line usually gets women talking about how theygot to the party, or what they do for a living, or about how they know the host, or why they choseto strip for a living.
I learn a lot by paying attention to the subject matter of their answer. If itsabout what they do for a living, then you know thats something important to them If the woman doesnt mind sharing personal things about herselfwith you, this opening gives her the perfect opportunity, while at the same time allowing thosewomen who are more reserved a chance to come up with something more benign, like "Im afriend of the host.
People like that are no fun anyway, no matterhow beautiful they may appear. Always be prepared to mirror the statements they give you This will feed the rapport between you as a relationship begins to develop. This is also a good time to start your patterning language, if you dont do it naturally and turn iton or off as needed. Also, if things arent progressing so well with one person, remember that mingling meansmoving around You canalways return later. You can use the "story" approach not only with the person, but with accessories or specialclothing the woman is wearing: Keep everything you talk about upbeat and positive.
This really turns women off and makes a bad impression. Dont drink at all orlimit your drinking to a couple of drinks. If you are putting on an act, it will come across to heras phoney. Just be friendly and smile but in appropriate doses, avoid having a grin on your faceALL THE TIME, guys that are smiling for hours in a row look terribly insecure and just plainpathetic.
There are exceptions though, but try to becareful about them. If you really have something impressive to talk about, you can let her in on it,just try to be real casual about it. On the whole, women are very good at sniffing out when themale is trying to impress them by bragging.
And if what he is bragging about is not really thatimpressive, its a complete turn-off. So be careful. Focusing on her and her interests is a far saferroute to take. These areguaranteed to nuke your otherwise wonderful interaction. But look for these signs to show you whether youre already making progress: Its also fun tolook for these signs as a by-stander, either in everyday situations or for example in a bar - whenthe guy earnestly believes he is being sooo smooth but the woman he is talking to isnt displayingany of the signs presented below, you cant help but have a chuckle about it: Her lips: Her eyes: Her hair: This can be one hand movement or more of a strokingmotion.
Her clothing: While she is seated: Her hands: This indicates that shes thinking about you and her She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on thetable. She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions. She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you in case you already haventstarted kino yourself, dumbass: She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.
Her voiceShe raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours. She laughs in unison with you. In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.
She mirrors your body language and body positions. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you. She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you. She leans over and speaks into her friends ear, just like in junior high school. She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other, hips slightlythrust forward. At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if youmove to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her glancing in yourgeneral direction actually, glancing at YOU dummy!: When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for: Can you keep conversation going with her?
Does she react well to kino? Does she touch you? Does she laugh? Now I dont have to explain what the answer "yes" to these questions means, do I: From "Sweep women off their feet But before you get there, chances are that her body language changes as thediscussion progresses. Make sure that you watch her closely and as soon as you get a sign thatshould be an indication that you are on the right track, keep going in that direction.
If theopposite happens, just change the subject and see what happens. The really gorgeous and beautiful girls however very seldom get around to displayingthe signs of interest described above. They simply dont have to, as they are used to getting someattention already long before that. With such girls you have to be on a lookout for the initial andthus much more subtle signs of interest. One example of this would be a gorgeous girl simplylooking at your face.
Obviously people tend to look at what or whom they like to look at. Butwhereas an average girl first just looks at your face and then progresses into the more overt signsof interest described above, looking at your face from time to time might be the only sign ofinterest youll ever get from the most beautiful of girls. Don Steele: Most are applicable toboth sexes.
The sequence of the list approximates the courtship sequence. In Summary. Frequency of eye contact, the more the better. Amount of time she, or he, holdsyour gaze, the longer the better. How she breaks off eye contact, down before away is great! Shine of the eyes, the brighter the better. Direction of body, toward you, good, away, bad.
Overallposture, erect and alert are good. Tilt of head, vertical is bad, increased tilt is great. Where thedrink is held, high in front as a barrier, thats bad. Hand activity, clenched, squeezing or pinchingis bad, open, caressing or stroking is great. Most of us are slightly afraid as well as somewhat excited in settings where social interaction isexpected and required. So, most people do not sit or stand in an open posture. But, duringcourtship, the more open the other persons posture is, the more open that person is to you andyour advances.
And, the more open you are, the more likely the other person is to open up to you. First Conversation Signals. Men, pay attention to all the ways she communicates during the firstfew minutes as you talk with her. A closed posture feels safe.
When the person you are talking with shifts to a moreopen posture, it signifies trust and comfort. That person is, literally, opening up to you and whatyou have to offer. It takes courage to open up to the other person. If you go first, she, or he, will usually follow yourmove from closed to slightly more open. Open up in, slow, gradual shifts of posture. MirroringA variation of mirroring is discussed in the articles dealing with eliciting values and using trance-words - that is verbal mirroring.
But a better-known variation of mirroring is physical mirroring. Actually, youve most probably been doing it all your life without knowing it but once you knowhow to harness the power of mirroring consciously - its like young Skywalker recognising andharnessing the power of the Force: Notice how people that seem to be engaged in ann interesting conversation - they are excitedabout what they themselves are saying, they are about to say and what the other is saying, inother words, they have rapport - seem to take the same poses, whether sitting or standing up.
When sitting, either side by side or on opposites sides of the table - one leans forward and thenthe other leans forward as well, one leans backward and then the other leans backward as well,they cross their hands in the same manner, tilt their heads similarly, seem to be having similarside-activities one playing with his keychain, the other with her pen , etc etc.
Are they directingtheir actions consciously? No, all their energies and concentration is on the discussion,everything else happens subconsciously. What is all this knowledge good for? Well, mirroring can be used as a tool for building rapport. Being similar or having someone similar in your vicinity creates a feeling of ease, comfort, beingunderstood, protected should there appear a threat of any sort, theres two of you now: Soyou can use the power of mirroring to create these feelings in the one you are mirroring, shellsubconsciously link all those feelings to you after all, you are the one mirroring her: How, whom and from where should I mirror?
They will only "get it" once the target has been isolated. See Also M3 Model - the easiest way to pick-up. Do women enjoy being hit on?
Supersets - Art of Approaching and Seduction Routines
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